Andalite vs Yeerk
by Dorus the Walrus
Summary: Its the ultimate showdown over the ultimate autograph.


Author's Note – I haven't done Animorphs in a while, so here's a new one! This one is, well, ridiculous. Also, I know that Yeerks do not have sexes, but they do seem to acquire their host's gender, which is why I refer to the Yeerk here as a "he" even though it has some female characteristics.

**Andalite vs. Yeerk**

Endolin 1027 let loose a high pitched squeal from his host's mouth as he walked into the large conference room. It was pure heaven. To his left he saw a group of vampires chatting amiably with each other and to his right were a group of slayers posing for pictures. _It's just like Buffy!_, he thought excitedly.

_Oh… My… God… WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!_

Endolin grinned as he eyed the reflection of his host's body in the tacky mirrors that covered one side of the wall. Two weeks ago Endolin had applied for a host transfer. He had had a strong, young, Hork-Bajir male, very desirable, but, unfortunately, Hork-Bajirs would look rather out of place at a Buffy convention. Now he had a teenage human female. A step down for some, but not for Endolin.

He twirled his host's bottled died blonde hair (something he had done almost immediately after receiving his new host) as he scanned the tight red leather pants and black sweater that his host was wearing. It looked just like the outfit Buffy wore in that episode where she fought Dracula.

_I look like a hooker!_

_Buffy is not a hooker!_, Endolin growled back at his host. Honestly, why couldn't she see just how awesome _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ was? She's human and humans invented the damn television show after all! Endolin pouted to himself a little; he got enough crap from the other Yeerks for being obsessed with a human television show, he did _not_ need it from his host.

Besides, he made his host look _cute_, for once. Endolin preened for a little bit before setting off to find the cast of the Buffy show. Ever since he had heard that there would be a Buffy convention in this town he had been dying to get a hold of some autographs from the cast. He had even been desperate enough to change hosts. And now it was his chance.

There! Endolin zeroed in on the long table where the cast were seated. They were laboriously signing the pieces of paper and photographs that were shoved at them by their adoring fans. Endolin nearly let loose another squeal as he realized that Michelle Trachtenberg, the actress who played Dawn, had just finished signing a photograph for the last fan in her line.

There was no one there! She was completely free!

Endolin began to walk discreetly, but quickly, towards Michelle. He didn't want anyone else to notice that there was no one with the actress.

In just a few quick steps, Endolin was almost in front of the beautiful girl. Michelle turned to give Endolin a huge smile and the Yeerk couldn't help but grin widely back. He pulled out his cast photograph for her to sign and had just about reached her when someone else had just shimmied right in front of him, subtly, but ruthlessly, knocking him out of Michelle's line of sight. Endolin grunted as he looked at the little line-jumper. It was a boy that was roughly his host's age and, from what he could tell, a very, _very_ attractive boy at that. Almost feminine in appearance. The boy gave the Yeerk a sweet, unassuming smile that would have him believe that this boy was a wholly innocent and gentle angel.

Endolin knew better, however.

Endolin opened his host's mouth, ready to give this jerk a piece of his mind when a sudden flood of people rushed towards the table. Everyone had seemed to realize that there was practically no one in front of Michelle and thus a mad dash had ensued. Endolin was pushed out of the way and landed hard on the floor.

_Ha ha! You suck!_

_Shut up_, Endolin growled. He slowly stood up and saw the boy thank Michelle for signing his photograph and walk away. The boy then disappeared into the restroom. Endolin glanced at the long line that now stood in front of Michelle and sighed. Then he narrowed his host's eyes and decided that that photograph the boy had was rightfully _his_. He was going to take that photograph, and then he was going to drag that boy kicking and screaming to the Yeerk Pool and show him that nobody, _nobody_ messes with the almighty Yeerk Empire!

Endolin stormed into the restroom, not even caring that it was for men only. After seeing no one at the urinals or sinks, Endolin began to look under stalls in search of the boy's legs. _Nope, nope, nope… Ah ha! ... Uh, what?_ Endolin did a double take when he saw that someone was in the handicapped stall, but that someone did not have the usual two legs.

He was pretty new to human hosts, but he did know that they usually only came with two legs.

The person in the stall had four legs… four legs covered in blue fur.

Endolin reached quietly into his purse to pull out his Dracon beam. With a sudden kick, Endolin busted open the bathroom stall door (_just like Buffy!_) and pointed the beam at the Andalite, who reared up in surprise, hitting its head on the wall.

"Okay, Andalite scum, hand over the autograph."

The Andalite landed on all fours and quickly got control over its facial expressions. The face transformed from a look of surprise to one of cool indifference. Endolin growled. He _hated_ that oh-so-superior look that these Andalites always seem to have when confronted with Yeerks, like they're smelling something unpleasant.

_And what do you plan on doing if I do not?_ The Andalite quipped, folding its arms over its chest. Endolin smirked at this; he wondered if this Andalite realized that it had just performed a distinctly human mannerism. Andalites couldn't bear anything diluting their own precious culture.

"If you hand over the autograph quickly and quietly, I'll make sure you get a Yeerk that's _kind_ to you. If you make me _take it_ from you, then I'll be sure you get a Yeerk who spends every minute of the day making your life a living hell." Endolin smirked. "Now, hand it over."

_I do not think so._ The Andalite suddenly whipped its tail forward and Endolin pulled the trigger.

AvYAvYAvY

_So, let me get this straight. You fought off a Yeerk with a Dracon beam in a crowded conference room all for an autograph?_ Tobias asked incredulously as he watched Ax place his newly framed Buffy autograph on top of his TV. When Ax had returned to the woods after disappearing for the whole day _with no one with him_, limping and his fur singed in an all-too-familiar pattern, Tobias had demanded that they go to Cassie's barn to get him looked over. Ax had pleaded with Tobias, worried that his "Prince Jake" would be angry over what had happened. Tobias had reluctantly agreed not to tell anyone if Ax told him everything. He had not expected… _this_, however.

_Yes, although the Yeerk unfortunately got away_. Ax said, and Tobias could hear that twinge of shame that the Andalite's "voice" always carried when he thought that he had failed in some way.

_You do know that what had happened was all over the evening news, right? Jake had called a meeting thirty minutes ago about a news story involving a crazy girl with a gun and a wild horse at a TV convention. He was absolutely convinced that the Yeerks had captured you and that there is an entrance to the Yeerk pool in that conference building. The only reason why he hasn't launched a full rescue mission is that the story had said that the horse had run out of the building and into the forest. He's hoping that you had managed to escape alright, although if we don't talk to him soon he's going to go into crazy leader mode._ Tobias said.

Ax looked at Tobias pensively. _Although in normal circumstances I would find the thought of Yeerks capturing me to be humorous, I think that we should allow Prince Jake to continue thinking that I had been captured and had escaped_.

Tobias sighed. Tomorrow, he was going to destroy Ax's TV.


End file.
